Chapter 2: On the conduct among wives of a husband; Conduct of a remarried virgin,of a wife disliked by her husband,husband towards many wives

THE causes of re-marrying during the lifetime of the wife are as follows:
The folly or ill-temper of the wife
Her husband's dislike to her
The want of offspring
The continual birth of daughters
The incontinence of the husband
From the very beginning, a wife should endeavour to attract the heart of her husband, by showing
to him continually her devotion, her good temper, and her wisdom. If however she bears him no
children, she should herself toilette her husband to marry another woman. And when the second
wife is married, and brought to the house, the first wife should give her a position superior to her
own, and look upon her as a sister. In the morning the elder wife should forcibly make the
younger one decorate herself in the presence of their husband, and should not mind all the
husband's favour being given to her. If the younger wife does anything to displease her husband
the elder one should not neglect her, but should always be ready to give her most careful advice,
and should teach her to do various things in the presence of her husband. Her children she
should treat as her own, her attendants she should look upon with more regard, even than on her
own servants, her friends she should cherish with love and kindness, and her relations with great
honour. When there are many other wives besides herself, the elder wife should associate with
the one who is immediately next to her in rank and age, and should instigate the wife who has
recently enjoyed her husband's favour to quarrel with the present favorite. After this she should
sympathize with the former, and having collected all the other wives together, should get them to
denounce the favourite as a scheming and wicked woman, without however committing herself in
any way. If the favourite wife happens to quarrel with the husband, then the elder wife should take
her part and give her false encouragement, and thus cause the quarrel to be increased. If there
be only a little quarrel between the two, the elder wife should do all she can to work it up into a
large quarrel. But if after all this she finds the husband still continues to love his favourite wife she
should then change her tactics, and endeavour to bring about a conciliation between them, so as
to avoid her husband's displeasure.
Thus ends the conduct of the elder wife.
The younger wife should regard the elder wife of her husband as her mother, and should not give
anything away, even to her own relations, without her knowledge. She should tell her everything
about herself, and not approach her husband without her permission. Whatever is told to her by
the elder wife she should not reveal to others, and she should take care of the children of the
senior even more than of her own. When alone with her husband she should serve him well, but
should not tell him of the pain she suffers from the existence of a rival wife. She may also obtain
secretly from her husband some marks of his particular regard for her, and may tell him that she
lives only for him, and for the regard that he has for her. She should never reveal her love for her
husband, nor her husband's love for her to any person, either in pride or in anger, for a wife that
reveals the secrets of her husband is despised by him. As for seeking to obtain the regard of her
husband, that it should always be done in private, for fear of the elder wife. If the elder wife be
disliked by her husband, or be childless, she should sympathize with her, and should ask her
husband to do the same, but should surpass her in leading the life of a chaste woman.
Thus ends the conduct of the younger wife towards the elder. A widow in poor circumstances, or
of a weak nature, and who allies herself again to a man, is called a widow remarried. A virgin
widow should not marry a person whom she may be obliged to leave on account of his bad
character, or of his being destitute of the excellent qualities of a man, she thus being obliged to
have recourse to another person. as the cause of a widow's marrying again is her desire for
happiness, and as happiness is secured by the possession of excellent qualities in her husband,
joined to love of enjoyment, it is better therefore to secure a person endowed with such qualities
in the first instance. And we think that a widow may marry any person that she likes, and that she
thinks win suit her. At the time of her marriage the widow should obtain from her husband the
money to pay the cost of drinking parties, and picnics with her relations, and of giving them and
her friends kindly gifts and presents; or she may do these things at her own cost if she likes. In
the same way she may wear either her husband's ornaments or her own. As to the presents of
affection mutually exchanged between the husband and herself there is no fixed rule about them.
If she leaves her husband after marriage of her own accord, she should restore to him whatever
he may have given her, with the exception of the mutual presents. If however she is driven out of
the house by her husband she should not return anything to him. After her marriage she should
live in the house of her husband like one of the chief members of the family, but should treat the
other ladies of the family with kindness, the servants with generosity, and all the friends of the
house with familiarity and good temper. She should show that she is better acquainted with the
sixty-four arts than the other ladies of the house, and in any quarrels with her husband she should
not rebuke him severely but in private do everything that he wishes, and make use of the sixtyfour
ways of enjoyment. She should be obliging to the other wives of her husband, and to their
children she should give presents, behave as their mistress, and make ornaments and playthings
for their use. In the friends and servants of her husband she should confide more than in his other
wives, and finally she should have a liking for drinking parties, going to picnics, attending fairs
and festivals, and for carrying out all kinds of games and amusements.
Thus ends the conduct of a virgin widow remarried.
A woman who is disliked by her husband, and annoyed and distressed by his other wives, should
associate with the wife who is liked most by her husband, and who serves him more than the
others, and should teach her all the arts with which she is acquainted. She should act as the
nurse to her husband's children, and having gained over his friends to her side, should through
them make him acquainted of her devotion to him. In religious ceremonies she should be a
leader, as also in vows and fasts, and should not hold too good an opinion of herself. When her
husband is lying on his bed she should only go near him when it is agreeable to him, and should
never rebuke him, or show obstinacy in any way. If her husband happens to quarrel with any of
his other wives, she should reconcile them to each other, and if he desires to see any woman
secretly, she should manage to bring about the meeting between them. She should moreover
make herself acquainted with the weak points of her husband's character, but always keep them
secret, and on the whole behave herself in such a way as may lead him to look upon her as a
good and devoted wife. Here ends the conduct of a wife disliked by her husband.
The above sections will show how all the women of the king's seraglio are to behave, and
therefore we shall now speak separately only about the king.
The female attendants in the harem should bring flowers, ointments and clothes from the king's
wives to the king, and he having received these things should give them as presents to the
servants, along with the things worn by him the previous day. In the afternoon the king, having
dressed and put on his ornaments, should interview the women of the harem, who should also be
dressed and decorated with jewels. Then having given to each of them such a place and such
respect as may suit the occasion and as they may deserve, he should carry on with them a
cheerful conversation. After that he should see such of his wives as may be virgin widows
remarried, and after them the concubines and dancing girls. All of these should be visited in their
own private rooms. When the king rises from his noonday sleep, the woman whose duty it is to
inform the king regarding the wife who is to spend the night with him should come to him
accompanied by the female attendants of that wife whose turn may have arrived in the regular
course, and of her who may have been accidentally passed over as her turn arrived, and of her
who may have been unwell at the time of her turn. These attendants should place before the king
the ointments and unguents sent by each of these wives, marked with the seal of her ring, and
their names and their reasons for sending the ointments should be told to the king. After this the
king accepts the ointment of one of them, who then is informed that her ointment has been
accepted, and that her day has been settled. At festivals, singing parties and exhibitions, all the
wives of the king should be treated with respect and served with drinks. But the women of the
harem should not be allowed to go out alone, neither should any women outside the harem be
allowed to enter it except those whose character is well known. And lastly the work which the
king's wives have to do should not be too fatiguing.
Thus ends the conduct of the king towards the women of the harem, and of their own conduct.
A man marrying many wives should act fairly towards them all. He should neither disregard nor
pass over their faults, and should not reveal to one wife the love, passion, bodily blemishes and
confidential reproaches of the other. No opportunity should be given to any one of them of
speaking to him about their rivals, and if one of them should begin to speak ill of another, he
should chide her and tell her that she has exactly the same blemishes in her character. One of
them he should please by secret confidence, another by secret respect, and another by secret
flattery, and he should please them all by going to gardens, by amusements, by presents, by
honouring their relations, by telling them secrets, and lastly by loving unions. A young woman
who is of a good temper, and who conducts herself according to the precepts of the Holy Writ,
wins her husband's attachments, and obtains superiority over her rivals. Thus ends the conduct
of a husband towards many wives.

Chapter 1 : On the manner of living of a virtuous woman, and of her behaviour during her husbands absense

A VIRTUOUS woman, who has affection for her husband, should act in conformity with his
wishes as if he were a divine being, and with his consent should take upon herself the whole care
of his family. She should keep the whole house well cleaned, and arrange flowers of various
kinds in different parts of it, and make the floor smooth and polished so as to give the whole a
neat and becoming appearance. She should surround the house with a garden, and place ready
in it all the materials required for the morning, noon and evening sacrifices. Moreover she should
herself revere the sanctuary of the Household Gods, for, says Gonardiya, 'nothing so much
attracts the heart of a householder to his wife as a careful observance of the things mentioned
above'.
Towards the parents, relations, friends, sisters, and servants of her husband
She should behave as they deserve. In the garden she should plant beds of green vegetables,
bunches of the sugar cane, and clumps of the fig tree, the mustard plant, the parsley plant, the
fennel plant, and the xanthochymus pictorius. Clusters of various flowers such as the trapa
bispinosa, the jasmine, the jasminum grandiflorum, the yellow amaranth, the wild jasmine, the
tabernamontana coronaria, the nadyaworta, the china rose and others, should likewise be
planted, together with the fragrant grass andropogon schaenanthus, and the fragrant root of the
plant andropogon miricatus. She should also have seats and arbours made in the garden,
in the middle of which a well, tank, or pool should be dug. The wife should always avoid the
company of female beggars, female Buddhist mendicants, unchaste and roguish women, female
fortune tellers and witches. As regards meals she should always consider what her husband likes
and dislikes and what things are good for him, and what are injurious to him. When she hears the
sounds of his footsteps coming home she should at once get up and be ready to do whatever he
may command her, and either order her female servant to wash his feet, or wash them herself.
When going anywhere with her husband, she should put on her ornaments, and without his
consent she should not either give or accept invitations, or attend marriages and sacrifices, or sit
in the company of female friends, or visit the temples of the Gods. And if she wants to engage in
any kind of games or sports, she should not do it against his will. In the same way she should
always sit down after him, and get up before him, and should never awaken him when he is
asleep. The kitchen should be situated in a quiet and retired place, so as not to be accessible to
strangers, and should always look clean. In the event of any misconduct on the part of her
husband, she should not blame him excessively, though she be a little displeased. She should
not use abusive language towards him, but rebuke him with conciliatory words, whether he be in
the company of friends or alone. Moreover, she should not be a scold, for, 'there is no cause of
dislike on the part of a husband so great as this characteristic in a wife'. Lastly she should avoid
bad expressions, sulky looks, speaking aside, standing in the doorway, and looking at passersby,
conversing in the pleasure groves, and remaining in a lonely place for a long time; and finally
she should always keep her body, her teeth, her hair and everything belonging to her tidy, sweet,
and clean. When the wife wants to approach her husband in private her dress should consist of
many ornaments, various kinds of flowers, and a cloth decorated with different colours, and some
sweet-smelling ointments or unguents. But her everyday dress should be composed of a thin,
close-textured cloth, a few ornaments and flowers, and a little scent, not too much. She should
also observe the fasts and vows of her husband, and when he tries to prevent her doing this, she
should persuade him to let her do it. At appropriate times of the year, and when they happen to
be cheap, she should buy earth, bamboos, firewood, skins, and iron pots, as also salt and oil.
Fragrant substances, vessels made of the fruit of the plant wrightea antidysenterica, or oval
leaved wrightea, medicines, and other things which are always wanted, should be obtained when
required and kept in a secret place of the house. The seeds of the radish, the potato, the common
beet, the Indian wormwood, the mango, the cucumber, the egg plant, the kushmanda, the
pumpkin gourd, the surana, the bignonia indica, the sandal wood, the premna spinosa, the garlic
plant, the onion, and other vegetables, should be bought and sown at the proper seasons. The
wife, moreover, should not tell to strangers the amount of her wealth, nor the secrets which her
husband has confided to her. She should surpass all the women of her own rank in life in her
cleverness, her appearance, her knowledge of cookery, her pride, and her manner of serving her
husband. The expenditure of the year should be regulated by the profits. The milk that remains
after the meals should be turned into ghee or clarified butter. Oil and sugar should be prepared at
home; spinning and weaving should also be done there; and a store of ropes and cords, and
barks of trees for twisting into ropes should be kept. She should also attend to the pounding and
cleaning of rice, using its small grain and chaff in some way or other. She should pay the salaries
of the servants, look after the tilling of the fields, and keeping of the flocks and herds, superintend
the making of vehicles, and take care of the rams, cocks, quails, parrots, starlings, cuckoos,
peacocks, monkeys, and deer; and finally adjust the income and expenditure of the day. The
worn-out clothes should be given to those servants who have done good work, in order to show
them that their services have been appreciated, or they may be applied to some other use. The
vessels in which wine is prepared, as well as those in which it is kept, should be carefully looked
after, and put away at the proper time. All sales and purchases should also be well attended to.
The friends of her husband she should welcome by presenting them with flowers, ointment,
incense, betel leaves, and betel nut. Her father-in-law and mother-in-law she should treat as they
deserve, always remaining dependent on their will, never contradicting them, speaking to them in
few and not harsh words, not laughing loudly in their presence, and acting with their friends and
enemies as with her own. In addition to the above she should not be vain, or too much taken up
with her enjoyments. She should be liberal towards her servants, and reward them on holidays
and festivals; and not give away anything without first making it known to her husband.
Thus ends the manner of living of a virtuous woman.
During the absence of her husband on a journey the virtuous woman should wear only her
auspicious ornaments, and observe the fasts in honour of the Gods. While anxious to hear the
news of her husband, she should still look after her household affairs. She should sleep near the
elder women of the house, and make herself agreeable to them. She should look after and keep
in repair the things that are liked by her husband, and continue the works that have been begun
by him. To the abode of her relations she should not go except on occasions of joy and sorrow,
and then she should go in her usual traveling dress, accompanied by her husband's servants,
and not remain there for a long time. The fasts and feasts should be observed with the consent of
the elders of the house. The resources should be increased by making purchases and sales
according to the practice of the merchants and by means of honest servants, superintended by
herself. The income should be increased, and the expenditure diminished as much possible. And
when her husband returns from his journey, she should receive him at first in her ordinary clothes;
so that he may know in what way she has lived during his absence, and should bring to him some
Presents, as also materials for the worship of the Deity. Thus ends the part relating to the
behaviour of a wife during the absence of her husband on a journey.
There are also some verses on the subject as follows: 'The wife, whether she be a woman of
noble family, or a virgin widow remarried, or a concubine, should lead a chaste life, devoted to
her husband, and doing everything for his welfare. Women acting thus acquire Dharma, Artha,
and Kama, obtain a high position, and generally keep their husbands devoted to them.