A POOR man possessed of good qualities, a man born of a low family possessed of mediocre
qualities, a neighbor possessed of wealth, and one under the control of his father, mother or
brothers, should not marry without endeavoring to gain over the girl from her childhood to love
and esteem him. Thus a boy separated from his parents, and living in the house of his uncle,
should try to gain over the daughter of his uncle, or some other girl, even though she be
previously betrothed to another. And this way of gaining over a girl, is unexceptional, because
Dharma can be accomplished by means of it as well as by any other way of marriage. When a
boy has thus begun to woo the girl he loves, he should spend his time with her and amuse her
with various games and diversions fitted for their age and acquaintanceship, such as picking and
collecting flowers, making garlands of flowers, playing the parts of members of a fictitious family,
cooking food, playing with dice, playing with cards, the game of odd and even, the game of
finding out the middle finger, the game of six pebbles, and such other games as may be prevalent
in the country, and agreeable to the disposition of the girl. In addition to this, he should carry on
various amusing games played by several persons together, such as hide and seek, playing with
seeds, hiding things in several small heaps of wheat and looking for them, blind man’s buff,
gymnastic exercises, and other games of the same sort, in company with the girl, her friends and
female attendants. The man should also show great kindness to any woman whom the girl thinks
fit to be trusted, and should also make new acquaintances, but above all he should attach to
himself by kindness and little services the daughter of the girl's nurse, for if she be gained over,
even though she comes to know of his design, she does not cause any obstruction, but is
sometimes even able to effect a union between him and the girl. And though she knows the true
character of the man, she always talks of his many excellent qualities to the parents and relations
of the girl, even though she may not be desired to do so by him. In this way the man should do
whatever the girl takes most delight in, and he should get for her whatever she may have a desire
to possess. Thus he should procure for her such playthings as may be hardly known to other
girls. He may also show her a ball dyed with various colours, and other curiosities of the same
sort; and should give her dolls made of cloth, wood, buffalo-horn, wax, flour, or earth; also
utensils for cooking food, and figures in wood, such as a man and woman standing, a pair of
rams, or goats, or sheep; also temples made of earth, bamboo, or wood, dedicated to various
goddesses; and cages for parrots, cuckoos, starlings, quails, cocks, and partridges; watervessels
of different sorts and of elegant forms, machines for throwing water about, guitars, stands
for putting images upon, stools, lac, red arsenic, yellow ointment, vermilion and collyrium, as well
as sandalwood, saffron. Such things should be given at different times whenever he gets a good
opportunity of meeting her, and some of them should be given in private, and some in public,
according to circumstances. In short, he should try in every way to make her look upon him as
one who would do for her everything that she wanted to be done. In the next place he should get
her to meet him in some place privately, and should then tell her that the reason of his giving
presents to her in secret was the fear that the parents of both of them might be displeased, and
then he may add that the things which he had given her had been much desired by other people.
When her love begins to show signs of increasing he should relate to her agreeable stories if she
expresses a wish to hear such narratives. Or if she takes delight in legerdemain, he should
amaze her by performing various tricks of jugglery; or if she feels a great curiosity to see a
performance of the various arts, he should show his own skill in them. When she is delighted with
singing he should entertain her with music, and on certain days, and at the time of going together
to moonlight fairs and festivals, and at the time of her return after being absent from home, he
should present her with bouquets of flowers, and with chaplets for the head, and with ear
ornaments and rings, for these are the proper occasions on which such things should be
presented. He should also teach the daughter of the girl's nurse all the sixty-four means of
pleasure practiced by men, and under this pretext should also inform her of his great skill in the
art of sexual enjoyment. All this time he should wear a fine dress, and make as good an
appearance as possible, for young women love men who live with them, and who are handsome,
good looking and well dressed. As for the sayings that though women may fall in love, they still
make no effort themselves to gain over the object of their affections, that is only a matter of idle
talk. Now a girl always shows her love by outward signs and actions, such as the following: She
never looks the man in the face, and becomes abashed when she is looked at by him; under
some pretext or other she shows her limbs to him; she looks secretly at him though he has gone
away from her side, hangs down her head when she is asked some question by him, and
answers in indistinct words and unfinished sentences, delights to be in his company for a long
time, speaks to her attendants in a peculiar tone with the hope of attracting his attention towards
her when she is at a distance from him, does not wish to go from the place where he is, under
some pretext or other she makes him look at different things, narrates to him tales and stories
very slowly so that she may continue conversing with him for a long time, kisses and embraces
before him a child sitting in her lap, draws ornamental marks on the foreheads of her female
servants, performs sportive and graceful movements when her attendants speak jestingly to her
in the presence of her lover, confides in her lover's friends, and respects and obeys them, shows
kindness to his servants, converses with them, and engages them to do her work as if she were
their mistress, and listens attentively to them when they tell stories about her lover to somebody
else, enters his house when induced to do so by the daughter of her nurse, and by her assistance
manages to converse and play with him, avoids being seen by her lover when she is not dressed
and decorated, gives him by the hand of her female friend her ear ornament, ring, or garland of
flowers that he may have asked to see, always wears anything that he may have presented to
her, becomes dejected when any other bridegroom is mentioned by her parents, and does not
mix with, those who may be of his party, or who may support his claims.
There are also some verses on the subject as follows:
'A man, who has seen and perceived the feelings of the girl towards him, and who has noticed
the outward signs and movements by which those feelings are expressed, should do everything
in his power to effect a union with her. He should gain over a young girl by childlike sports, a
damsel come of age by his skill in the arts, and a girl that loves him by having recourse to
persons in whom she confides.'
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