chapter, the lover should try to gain her over entirely by various ways and means, such as the
following: When engaged with her in any game or sport he should intentionally hold her hand.
He should practice upon her the various kinds of embraces, such as the touching embrace, and
others. He should show her a pair of human beings cut out of the leaf of a tree, and such like
things, at intervals. When engaged in water sports, he should dive at a distance from her, and
come tip close to her. He should show an increased liking for the new foliage of trees and such
like things. He should describe to her the pangs he suffers on her account. He should relate to
her the beautiful dream that he has had with reference to other women. At parties and assemblies
of his caste he should sit near her, and touch her under some pretence or other, and having
placed his foot upon hers, he should slowly touch each of her toes, and press the ends of the
nails; if successful in this, he should get hold of her foot with his hand and repeat the same thing.
He should also press a finger of her hand between his toes when she happens to be washing his
feet; and whenever he gives anything to her or takes anything from her, he should show her by
his manner and look how much he loves her. He should sprinkle upon her the water brought for
rinsing his mouth; and when alone with her in a lonely place, or in darkness, he should make love
to her, and tell her the true state of his mind without distressing her in any way. Whenever he sits
with her on the same seat or bed he should say to her, 'I have something to tell you in private',
and then, when she comes to hear it in a quiet place, he should express his love to her more by
manner and signs than by words. When he comes to know the state of her feelings towards him
he should pretend to be ill, and should make her come to his house to speak to him. There he
should intentionally hold her hand and place it on his eyes and forehead, and under the pretence
of preparing some medicine for him he should ask her to do the work for his sake in the following
words: 'This work must be done by you, and by nobody else.' When she wants to go away he
should let her go, with an earnest request to come and see him again. This device of illness
should be continued for three days and three nights. After this, when she begins coming to see
him frequently, he should carry on long conversations with her, for, 'though a man loves a girl
ever so much, he never succeeds in winning her without a great deal of talking'. At last, when the
man finds the girl completely gained over, he may then begin to enjoy her. As for the saying that
women grow less timid than usual during the evening, and in darkness, and are desirous of
congress at those times, and do not oppose men then, and should only be enjoyed at these
hours, it is a matter of talk only. When it is impossible for the man to carry on his endeavours
alone, he should, by means of the daughter of her nurse, or of a female friend in whom she
confides, cause the girl to be brought to him without making known to her his design, and he
should then proceed with her in the manner above described. Or he should in the beginning send
his own female servant to live with the girl as her friend, and should then gain her over by her
means. At last, when he knows the state of her feelings by her outward manner and conduct
towards him at religious ceremonies, marriage ceremonies, fairs, festivals, theatres, public
assemblies, and such like occasions, he should begin to enjoy her when she is alone, for women,
when resorted to at proper times and in proper places, do not turn away from their lovers. When a
girl, possessed of good qualities and well-bred, though born in a humble family, or destitute of
wealth, and not therefore desired by her equals, or an orphan girl, or one deprived of her parents,
but observing the rules of her family and caste, should wish to bring about her own marriage
when she comes of age, such a girl should endeavour to gain over a strong and good looking
young man, or a person whom she thinks would marry her on account of the weakness of his
mind, and even without the consent of his parents. She should do this by such means as would
endear her to the said person, as well as by frequently seeing and meeting him. Her mother also
should constantly cause them to meet by means of her female friends, and the daughter of her
nurse. The girl herself should try to get alone with her beloved in some quiet place, and at odd
times should give him flowers, and perfumes. She should also show her skill in the practice of the
arts, in shampooing, in scratching and in pressing with the nails. She should also talk to him on
the subjects he likes best, and discuss with him the ways and means of gaining over and winning
the affections of a girl. But old authors say that although the girl loves the man ever so much, she
should not offer herself, or make the first overtures, for a girl who does this loses her dignity, and
is liable to be scorned and rejected. But when the man shows his wish to enjoy her, she should
be favourable to him and should show no change in her demeanour when he embraces her, and
should receive all the manifestations of his love as if she were ignorant of the state of his mind.
But when he tries to kiss her she should oppose him; when he begs to be allowed to have sexual
intercourse with her she should let him touch her private parts only and with considerable
difficulty; and though importuned by him, she should not yield herself up to him as if of her own
accord, but should resist his attempts to have her. It is only, moreover, when she is certain that
she is truly loved, and that her over is indeed devoted to her, and will not change his mind, that
she should then give herself up to him, and persuade him to marry her quickly. After losing her
virginity she should tell her confidential friends about it.
Here end the efforts of a girl to gain over a man.
There are also some verses on the subject as follows:
'A girl who is much sought after should marry the man that she likes, and whom she thinks would
be obedient to her, and capable of giving her pleasure. But when from the desire of wealth a girl
is married by her parents to a rich man without taking into consideration the character or looks of
the bridegroom, or when given to a man who has several wives, she never becomes attached to
the man, even though he be endowed with good qualities, obedient to her will, active, strong, and
healthy, and anxious to please her in every way. A husband who is obedient but yet master of
himself, though he be poor and not good looking, is better than one who is common to many
women, even though he be handsome and attractive. The wives of rich men, where there are
many wives, are not generally attached to their husbands, and are not confidential with them, and
even though they possess all the external enjoyments of life, still have recourse to other men. A
man who is of a low mind, who has fallen from his social position, and who is much given to
traveling, does not deserve to be married; neither does one who has many wives and children, or
one who is devoted to sport and gambling, and who comes to his wife only when he likes.
Of all the lovers of a girl he only is her true husband who possesses the qualities that are liked by
her, and such a husband only enjoys real superiority over her, because he is the husband of
love.'
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